Monday, March 3, 2008

Tears

You know the saying "Eyes are the windows of the soul"?  What happens when you can't see through?  What happens when all the grime of the world has taken it's toll on your lovely beautiful, ever-watching eyes?  I'd say then it's time for a cry.  It's time to wash your eyes.  This really is a post only to me, but if it applies to you, feel free and listen.
Satan, you have tricked my eyes.  You have put thing after thing in front of them, almost like blockades so I couldn't see what really matters.  You've put things around me that distracted me from being who I really am, a Princess of the King!  You have put neon lights in my head.  Ones that read, "No one could ever love you, not with how you look!  You're WAY to fat!" or "No wonder your real dad didn't want to be part of your life!  Look how immature you are being!" or one of my favorites, "No one could ever love you!  Your dad didn't love you so why should he/she be any different?"
Well you know what I have to say to this, Satan??   ENOUGH!!!!!  I've had it with your lies!  The big traps that you dig especially for me.   You know what else??  I may be "bigger" than most, but my God loves me.  He made me EXACTLY how he wanted me to be.  You wanna know something else?  My future husband will love me for me as well.  I don't have ANYTHING to worry about.  My God, my Father, and my Lord has my life planned out.  HE DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES...ever!!!!  
You know what that means?  HE made me like this!!! and I'm okay with that....or I will eventually.
Satan is like the biggest bully ever.  The things that bullies do leave marks on your lives forever....so do the things that Satan does.  Sometimes I'm walking down the street and something I heard Satan say, "Hannah, why are you looking at him?  He couldn't possibly like you as more than a friend."  Things like this damages how I look at myself and also how I feel about myself.  It will take a little while to block these thoughts from coming from my head and also blocking Satan's voice from entering my thought process.

I am not "fatso" "dateless" or any of those things that Satan has tried to call me to get my focus off of what it should be one.  Sadly, he won sometimes.  I began to think, "Maybe I amtoo fat...maybe there is a reason that I'm dateless, and the reason is me." 

I'm done listening to the lies....the lies of the media tell us all that thin is in (by the way), IT'S NOT!!  I'm done watching the shows that depict love as only kisses and sex....that is NOT what God's idea of love is!  I'm sick and tired to believing the lies that Satan throws at me from all angles....media, my peers, and those people whose advice I shouldn't take anyways.

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go wash my eyes in a much need shower!

~Hannah <3